Hello to all my serial monogamist, serial daters, and single people who just want to live free of commitment. This is my second post for the day, and it’s gonna be shorter more of a public service announcement, so bear with me. Something that’s been on my mind lately is how often I’ve placed my worth into the hands of men. I had to take a moment and think about the times my breakups had me feeling low, the times I was ghosted, and the times I simply didn’t feel good enough for a man, as if they were too good for me. I realized that there was something deep going on, and it was my responsiblity to take the journey of figuring that out.
In the past, I’ve had the guys who broke things off and then later told me I was great, and all the things they loved about me, yet they ended things and gave everything I wanted from them to someone else. Naturally, my own issues took over and I instantly thought I was lacking somewhere; questioning my looks, personality, mind, and all that I have to offer. The issue is that, I shouldn’t have based my worth on what some guy thought of me, or didn’t think of me. I’m now in a space where if someone stops showing me attention, instead of asking myself what’s wrong with me, I say to myself well, that’s their loss. I’m recognize that I’m dope, and while these men may come and go, I still have myself, and that is honestly more fun than sharing my space with someone who isn’t deserving. So often, people feel that because they are single that equals loneliness, and that’s simply not true. Being alone does not mean that you’re lonely. Find some activities that you can do alone, and put all the energy you used to keep a man/woman, into your friendships and family. Enjoy not having to compromise, or share your bed; look at the positives of being by yourself. Also and most importantly, do the work on yourself to find out the root of your insecurity, and figure out why you feel empty when you’re alone. Everyone isn’t going to like you or find you attractive, and that doesn’t mean that something is wrong with you, and if you love yourself enough, their opinion won’t matter. There will be times when you want some company, but don’t just let anyone come into your space because you feel lonely, instead think about why you’re willing to let just anyone come in, and take time to unpack that. Lately, I’ve seen too many of my friends allowing someone into their space just to say they have someone, and that’s just not where it’s at; trust me I know. If someone is not making you happy, or disrupts your vibe, let them go, your PEACE is more valuable than having some funky arms wrapped around you. It’s definitely not easy, but it can be done; leave the dating and relationships alone until you can complete yourself, and feel whole; only then will your views on dating change for the better. That’s all I have for today, I hope you enjoyed both posts. Thanks for reading!
P.S. You see the queen, you know why she’s there.